Cold Manila

I am loving the weather right now. I can’t remember the weather being this cold. Not that it’s cold cold, but in Manila standards, I guess you could consider it already is. I wish we could have this kind of climate all year round. I think the temperature is around the 20+(C) degrees range and probably lower pa in some areas. They say it’s going to last until February. Yey! I know there probably is a global warming alert sounding off somewhere already. Honestly, it’s a bit weird to be suddenly experiencing this cool weather. All my life, I can’t recall Manila being this cold or was I just too young (or too old?) to remember? Hehe While this is definitely a big plus especially to people like me who have lived most of their lives in tropical (read: hot and humid) weather, I’m just kind of scared to know that something odd is also happening to our planet. I think the global recession came as a blessing in disguise na rin. The economic slowdown will help our environment breathe. We can finally give our environment the much needed break it needs now. As much as I love cozy weather like this, I don’t think I would want to experience a snowy Christmas in Manila next year or any year for that matter. That would be really strange.

My Little Piece of Cake

I didn't have a big cake. I only had a slice for my birthday. It's okay, I'm still eating my cake.


Happy Birthday to my beloved twin sister too. :)

Gross National Happiness

Some excerpts of the article:

'Gross National Happiness', or GNH, is Buddhist Bhutan's unique approach to national development, and a pursuit that many in the remote country say has been vindicated by the ongoing economic meltdown in the outside world.

"The whole world is going towards materialism, and the more they get the more they want. But they're still not happy. They don't need to copy us, but they should take a look at other ways."

Bhutan has been pursuing GNH for the past few decades: it was conceived by the country's last king, and the new monarch -- 28-year-old Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck, who was crowned on Thursday -- says it will remain a policy centrepiece.

According to a pilot survey conducted earlier this year by Bhutan's Gross National Happiness Commission -- previously the national planning commission -- 68 percent of Bhutanese could be classed as being happy.

Read the whole article here.

I think I'm going to apply for a Bhutanese citizenship. I want to be a part of that historic 68%, not an easy feat especially in this day and age of ours.

The Slow Revolution or The Slow Movement

My friend Nicole emailed this to me. I could relate to this video.




"It is important to remember that when you talk about slow, it's not an extremist movement. It's not a fundamentalist movement. It's not about going back to the old days and doing everything at a snail's pace. I can't think of anything worse than swapping the cult of speed for the cult of slowness. Speed is great. It's about relearning the lost art of shifting gears. It's about understanding that there are moments to be fast and moments to be slow. It's about trying to do everything not as fast as possible, but as well as possible."

Scorpio Reading

I like what is written in my horoscope today. This however doesn't mean it accurately depicts my current state. I just happen to like what it says. This could actually be a good piece of advice that one can give to whomever.

"Your heart is in the right place today, dear Scorpio, so feel free to share your good mood with others. Keep things simple and straightforward. Try not to complicate any issue with unnecessary garble. Streamline your thoughts and actions. You will find that you can be much more efficient when you cut out those aspects of your life that are not pertinent or absolutely necessary. Follow your heart at all times."

I Like!

Nike Zoom Victory +
-I'm lusting for a new pair of gym shoes. So love the neon green and black combo.












Pepper Steak Lunch
-DIY fast food steakhouse at an affordable price. I like!














Project Runway
-Since Nate Berkus and Top Design came into my life (hehe), my secret wish was to be a good interior designer. And then came Project Runway, now I wish I can also make mean designer worthy clothes. Wish lang naman...















Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
-Good read. Almost addictive. I can't wait for the motion picture.












Aldo's Enterprise Mid-Heel Wedge
-I've been on a lookout for a shoe wedge. I finally found it! Yey!

Warrior of the Light

I like Paulo Coelho's Warrior of the Light. It's about accepting failure, embracing life, and rising to your destiny as the book cover says. It gives me the extra strength and inspiration every time I read it. It's a good read especially for those who are in doubt and troubled. Here are a few excerpts that I particularly like,

*****************

When somebody wants something, the whole Universe conspires in their favor. The Warrior of the Light knows this.

For this reason, he takes great care with his thoughts. Hidden beneath a whole series of good intentions lie feelings that no one dares confess to himself: vengeance, self-destruction, guilt, fear of winning, a macabre of joy at other people's tragedies.

The Universe does not judge; it conspires in favor of what we want. That is why the Warrior has the courage to look into the dark places of his soul in order to ensure that he is not asking for the wrong things. And he is always very careful about what he thinks.

*****************

For the Warrior there is no such thing as an impossible love. He is not intimidated by silence, indifference, or rejection. He knows that behind the mask of ice that people wear, there beats a heart of fire.

This is why the Warrior takes more risks than other people. He is constantly seeking the love of someone, even if that means often having to hear the word "no", returning home defeated and feeling rejected in body and soul.

A Warrior never gives in to fear when he is searching for what he needs. Without love, he is nothing.

*****************

"The Warrior knows he is free to choose his desires. And he makes these decisions with courage, detachment and - sometimes - with just a touch of madness."

His Love Concert

I watched Gary V.'s His Love The Repeat concert last night at Music Museum with Dolfo. It was 3 hours long. If it weren't for the seats we got, it would have been a great show. Since we decided to watch the concert last minute, there weren’t any good tickets left. We had to settle for balcony instead. The view from the balcony was actually okay. It was the seats that weren’t. It got a little uncomfortable after a few hours of sitting. Nevertheless it was an entertaining concert overall. His 2 sons and daughter also performed with him. I wished I was born with their talent. These past months, I was able to watch a number of concerts and I must say that Gary V.’s concert tops my list, next to Air Supply. Hala I’m turning into an oldie. Hehe Anyway sulit talaga because Gary V. sang all of his greatest hits. He’s been in the industry for more than 24 years, so imagine how many songs that was. Galing nya talaga.

Wish Bear

This is what I bought last week :),




A glittering glow in the dark Care Bear. I wouldn’t have known about it if it weren’t for Candice. She had one and I couldn’t resist buying one for myself. Toys ‘R’ Us didn’t have a lot of choices though. I was lucky they had Wish Bear. I got the last one. I could tell it was waiting for me. Hehe Care Bears hold fond childhood memories for me. Aside from Barbies and playing house, I would pretend I was a Care Bear. My cousins and I would even have our own Care Bear group and do the “Care Bears stare!”. I can’t remember now how I became Wish Bear. It just kinda stuck. I bought anything with Wish Bear on it. A friend even gave me Wish Bear socks. And yes, I do wear them still. It’ll be cool to collect all the Glow-A-Lot bears and line them all up in a dark room. The saleslady at Toys ‘R’ Us mentioned their stockroom was filled with glow in the dark Care Bears and it really had a nice effect.

Cleaning

I’ve embarked on a personal mission to fix and clean my room, and maintain everything in its proper place (which is rarely the case as things start to get messy again after a few days). I have been postponing it ever since I can remember. I don’t know what has gotten into me, but these past couple of weeks I actually have started on it. I just discovered I’ve accumulated a lot of stuff over the years; some are of sentimental value while some are just plain basura. Hehe. I actually find cleaning therapeutic. Not only do I get to tidy up my space, I also get to reminisce about the good ol’days after uncovering long forgotten stuff that I’ve kept since I was a kid. It was nice to go back to my sticker book and stationery collection. Yes! May ipangmamana na ako sa mga anak ko. Hehe. I also kept a lot of letters and cards from friends. Reading it again made me nostalgic. I used to remember the days when my friends and I would write and exchange letters. Uso pa ang penpals dati. Now I don't get letters anymore. Cleaning also lets me become Santa Claus for a day and give away clothes, shoes, and other “butingting” (I don’t know the English term for this). While almost everything has a sentimental value to me, it was time to let go of some. After all I am aiming for a clutter free life (literally and figuratively.)

The sudden urge to get organized has already gone beyond the confines of my room. I’m also trying to be organized with my everyday life as well. And I’d like to think I’m making a lot of progress. I found a systematic and more effective way of getting things done quickly. I’m also slowly able to filter out the junk from the useful and the urgent from the not so urgent. As a result of which I have more time now to do extra stuff. Learning to get rid (or clean off) all the unnecessary excess has helped me think clearer and has made most of my days happier, easier, and lighter.

Where the Hell is Matt?

Also dubbed as Dancing with the Universe, I must say this video created a big impact on me. Go and watch it.

"This one is no YouTube vanity trip. This one is different. This one feels important, necessary, and artistic; it's a concrete manifestation of the change that the world's leaders have been preaching at a time when the human race could use a little pick-me-up, a little jig in its step. This one is a high-definition television commercial for hope."

"Pretty cool, huh?" said Matt Harding, when it was suggested to him that, for the first time in history, someone — he — got the entire planet dancing together to the same song. - Jim Walsh

Today's Hula

I like what it says in my horoscope today. Totoo, I think I need to get out of the house. Light conversation and good-hearted banter...sounds good to me. :)

Happy to be Twenty Seven

I’m turning 27 in a couple of months. In a few years, I’ll be 30, and a few more years after that I’ll be long gone from the calendar. I’ll be 40 and before you know it, I'll be 50 then 60 (and still counting), and probably be old enough to be a grandma. You get the picture. I don’t know if it’s at this point in one’s life that one starts getting conscious of how old old one is. Call it denial or whatever, I honestly don’t feel old for my age. I don’t know if it’s the lack of responsibility or the lack of major life changing experiences or the lack of freedom, I just don’t feel old or at least I don’t feel like I’m getting old at all.

The way I see age, it’s not some running number that one has to keep track of. It’s more of a state of mind. We shouldn’t see age as a hindrance to our goals. It’s not about being too old or too young. There is never the right time to do and start things. It’s all about doing it now, living in the present, in the moment. Rather than counting, we should celebrate our being twenty or thirty something, whatever age we’re currently in. More than anything else, age is a gift. Some of the most priceless values come with age. One can never find true wisdom, inner peace and strength, and freedom without going through age. In this day and age, to be able to reach 50 is actually a privilege. To reach 90 is a blessing, a miracle even. So when your birthday comes along, be grateful and thankful you’re turning a year older. It means you’re given another shot at life. Another year. Lucky you.

Today's Headline

Grabe! Sobrang dami ng tao sa MRT! I hope one day, we'll be able to find a way ways to cope with the rising oil price. Or better yet I hope there will come a time we won't be needing oil anymore. I know it sounds crazy and impossible. Wala, wishful thinking lang.

The world needs to come up with a solution faassst, because it is really in serious trouble.

On Living Life and Being

I used to have a long list of the things that I want to:

BE,
learn,
do,
continue,
and finish.

But then I realized it’s impossible to accomplish everything. Not in this lifetime anyway. I used to want a lot. I wanted a full and happening life, thinking that it was what I needed to give my life a sense of purpose. I wanted to be this and that. I wanted to do this and that. I wanted to be here and there at the same time. I wanted to be out there, fully maximizing everything I’ve got. My dreams (or so I thought) were all over the place. I didn’t know where to start. I then discovered I wasn’t superwoman pala.

Sometimes we get too consumed with being conquerors of the world that we forget the real meaning of our whole being, with our being here. Now. We are hell bent on living the perfect life that eventually, our priorities and values get distorted. We pursue, do, and want the wrong things for the wrong reasons without even noticing it. We want to have and do more, even when we already have more than enough. It seems like we’re not easily satisfied anymore. Kulang na lang we overthrow the One up there.

I do still have my list with me and yes, it’s still getting longer. But I’m not too worried anymore if I don’t accomplish everything in it. I’m taking it slow because I want to savor and take in life as much as I can. I’ve discovered that you don’t have to do much to actually see and feel the beauty of life. It’s the small little things that make life beautiful and special in itself. As Tom Cruise would say in Vanilla Sky, “It’s the small things, there’s nothing bigger.”

My Diet Plan

Friends say I don’t tell stories that much about myself. I give off the impression that I’m pretty much a close book. Not that I have a lot to share anyway. Hehe. And it’s not that I’m trying to be secretive or mysterious; I guess I just prefer to keep everything low-key. I like to leave a little something for myself and enjoy whatever little “privacy” it gives me. I relish the fact that I have these little silly secrets (not the deep dark secrets type though if that’s what you’re thinking) that not everyone knows about. I also feel that sharing too much can sometimes lead to trouble or biases. But then that’s just the way it is. People will always have something to say, good or bad. You can expect that some will be happy for you and some won’t be. Some will have their opinions which may or may not what you want to hear. This doesn't mean you shouldn’t listen to what people would have to say. You just have to know what to pick out from all that are being said and use it in the most constructive way possible.

I’m sticking to a low information diet for now though. I’m trying to cut down on the things that I hear and see. I don’t need to know everything anyway. Just like they say, what you don’t know won’t hurt you. Right? I’m also finding a way to filter out the useless from the useful. Just like what my friend mentioned to me the other day, I’m going to put on these imaginary horse blinders so that I will be able to stick to my route and so that I won’t be bothered by the nonsense that I come into contact with. As long as it doesn’t directly impact my being, then I won’t bother with it. I’ve now made it my personal goal to be positive, happy, and unaffected as much as possible. And I’m definitely sticking to my "low or no info diet" plan with all the willpower I got. You should try it, it’s hunger free and healthy.

On Signs & Giving Up

I always have this habit of asking for signs whenever I’m unsure about something. Recently I asked for three signs—unusual and hard to find signs. I wasn’t really thinking about it much. I have actually forgotten all about it. Not until the week after when I got all three. It just popped out right at me without any warning at all. It was strange, weird in a good kind of way.

All three positive signs in a span of just a week. I don’t know if you can call it a coincidence. The signs I got were supposed to help me answer everything. I told myself that if I got the signs, I was going to follow its outcome, no more questions asked. And now that I got it, it’s ironic how I ended up doing the exact opposite. Ang gulo ko talaga minsan.

**********

When we have something valuable, we never let go. We hold on to it and keep it as long as we can. But sometimes it’s beyond our control when circumstances call for us to do otherwise. While we want to fight for it, a part of us is also scared (and sometimes tired) to do so. When we are constantly faced with doubts, we eventually begin to question whether it is indeed meant for us. Choosing to let go does not mean we’re weak because it’s no mean feat to give up something that we hold close to our heart. It takes a lot of courage to end something that has already become a part of us.

Letting go also does not always mean we don’t want it anymore. Sometimes it’s also a matter of the circumstances that we’re surrounded in…sort of like being with the right person but at the wrong time or being at the right time but with the wrong person, whichever you fancy. Perhaps we should never close our doors just yet because maybe some things (or person) are just not meant for us, for now. But we’ll never know when destiny will give us another chance and we’ll get to have it again. This time it’s going to be better, and it's going to last a lifetime.

Mommy Day

Got this from a text forwarded by a friend,

"This Mother's Day, we just don't remember the woman who delivered us to this crazy yet wonderful world,
but we shall also express our appreciation to the world's most beautiful lady
who didn't recognize the words 'sleep' and 'tiredness'
when we had our childish tantrums,
to the one who first taught us to say 'thank you',
to the one who always stood up against our critics
even when we were wrong but never forgets to correct us,
to the one who almost finished anything we started,
to the one who always reminds us that we have to be strong
yet honest to admit when we're weak
and to the one who always believes that she has the most good looking son or daughter. Hehe

Let's make her day special by having this kind of appreciation not only today but everyday as we face life's prepared struggles and treasured victories.

MOTHERHOOD: a constant testament that love can be indeed conditional.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU, YOUR MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, WIFE, AUNTIE, SISTER, and DAUGHTER."

Happy Mother's Day Ma! :)

Word of the Day: Forever

Forever is a big word. It sounds scary even. There are just a lot of things to think about and consider when it comes to the big ‘C’. It does get a little tiring at times having to think about all the what-ifs scenarios, making sure you’ve got all the bases covered and that everything’s going to be alright. Sometimes it surprises you even at how some of your thoughts can get so silly and absurd, outrageous even. Hey you got to be creative with your ideas right? Hehe When forever starts popping up in your mind, your mental brakes start to automatically kick in. You stop, pause for a moment and think how you’re going to go about it. As much as you want to be positive and optimistic, doubts inevitably start to show up. Your fears and insecurities hound you nonstop. Sometimes the pressure of personally wanting to make everything right can take its toll, add to that the external circumstances that make it complicated and at times overwhelming.

I guess that’s just the way it is when you value something. It seems like every little detail gets magnified 100 times than usual. Sometimes even a simple matter can suddenly become complicated to you, not because it IS complicated but because of wanting to make everything super perfect. No, it doesn't mean we're pessimistic or OC, maybe all it means is that you care and give a damn. A whole lot. When we see a good thing with potential, we hold on to it dearly. We find ways to make it work. We make sure everything will go smoothly, not necessarily perfect. While we can’t help but not worry, we need to put aside all doubts and stop analyzing too much. We need to be in the moment and just enjoy it while it lasts (forever or not forever), and let the tide bring us to wherever. Sometimes all it takes is to bring one foot out the door and muster the courage to keep ourselves from looking back. That’s all it takes, one foot! Easy isn’t it? Not!

Heart Wishes

Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you want.

Do you have it? Good.

Now believe it can come true. You’ll never know when the next miracle is going to come, from the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it’s right around the corner and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you might just get that thing you’re wishing for.

The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish.

Do you have it? Good.

Now believe in it. With all your heart.

(One Tree Hill)

A Bad Case of Murphy's Law

It’s funny how sometimes we want to give ourselves a hard time even if we really don’t have to. Living is really simple. It’s us who makes it so complicated at times. Isn’t it ironic how we always can’t have what we want, and when we do get what we want, we suddenly don’t want it as much? We burden ourselves in looking for that one perfect opportunity when it’s already staring right at our face, but we just want to look the other way. I guess we all have a little bit of that “you and me against the world” syndrome still going on. We want the thrill and excitement that goes with it; the rush that we get from wanting and chasing after a love, love here being a thing, career, person, or what have you. Even if it could be easily given to us in a silver platter, we still choose to turn it down and get it ourselves do or die. It’s as if we can’t claim something if it’s wasn’t hard earned or given its due fight. That’s why perhaps we are never completely satisfied or 100% happy with life. We always gravitate towards the things we don’t have or can’t have when in fact, the things we have (and can have) is already more than enough. We just don’t realize it. Sadly most of than not we begin to realize only its worth when it’s completely gone from our lives. :(

Sure Ka Na?

How can you be totally sure about a person? Is it just feeling right about it? Or does it have to come with the complete package? I wish I knew. I don’t want to make guesses anymore. Even if my gut feel says it’s right, I can’t help but think otherwise. It’s hard not to entertain doubts especially when experience tells that everything isn’t as rosy as it may seem. You get your hopes high and it suddenly bites you painfully in the ass. Some can make you feel as if you’re the only person in the world only to find out you’re just one of the many. Some can also make you feel special and then they go AWOL on you, complete with their disappearing act, no notice or explanation whatsoever. While some are just too complicated to figure out, either they’re a hybrid of the first two or a completely different thing altogether. Your heart most often than not, always ends up in pieces, broken. That’s why I understand why some people are fickle when it comes to love. It’s difficult to commit and trust a person especially when you’re totally uncertain. So how can you be sure? The things is, you can never really be sure. In the end, it’s a matter of figuring out what it is that you really WANT and risking your fragile heart for it. Even if it may not guarantee you a happily ever after and even if it may not leave you heartache and tears free, hey at least you went after something that you really (so badly) want right?

Good Things

-home cooked meals (shabu-shabu, sinigang na bangus, steak - yum!)
-fresh flowers
-catching a rainbow and watching it fade
-Cashmere Mafia (women power!)
-Big Shots (gives you a clear male's perspective)
-getting more than 8 hours of sleep
-feeling good about everything
-seeing everyone all in a happy mood
-Cibo's potato chips (I'm getting addicted to it. Bad. Tsk tsk)
-authentic dimsum (xiao long bao currently tops my list)
-Mochi cream desserts from Japan
-grocery shopping
-not getting easily affected
-Neyo live! :)
-getting back to baking and cooking (I'm trying!)
-catching up with an old friend
-good long conversations over coffee (and beer)
-smelling good and people who smell good too (hehe)
-nice genuine compliments
-Body Combat
-R&B music
-worry free days
-things going well according to plan
-things unexpectedly going well according to plan
-nice little surprises
-friends (I thank God for them)
-people who are willing to help you
-getting my desk and things organized (and clutter free)
-Aveeno (really really swear by this product)
-cocoa butter (smells yummy!)

Leaps of Faith

It’s hard to decide when you’re faced with a lot of options. I’m starting to think that maybe having a lot of choices isn’t such a good idea after all. While the opportunities may be endless, things can become a tad complicated. The narrowing down and selection process is tough. It becomes harder and harder to pick. Honestly I really don’t know what I exactly want. It seems like I’m never completely satisfied. Today I want this and tomorrow, it’s a different thing. And I’m scared that one day it will all be too late and I won’t have anything to choose from anymore. But I’m much more scared to make the wrong mistake and not be able to get out of it. It’s not that I have difficulty in committing to a certain thing or person. I can commit if I want to. It really has to do more with the available options being not that concrete and 100% foolproof. I’m not completely sold on it…just yet. I know risks should be taken. As much as I hate to leave my comfort zone, maybe it’s exactly what I need to do now. I’ve always backed out every single time. It’s high time I just take the leap, big leaps to the unknown and hope (*cross fingers*) that everything will work out fine. It's now or never. Ang dali sabihin diba? Hehe

Break the Rule and the Ruler

It can be suffocating at times to be in a culture governed by all these rules and norms. The do’s and don’ts seem to be never ending. I’ve lost track of it already. I don’t even know anymore what’s the proper and un-proper thing to do. People can be very critical. You do something that’s out of the norm and “unexpected”, you instantly get questioned about it and get talked about it even.

I have nothing against rules and norms. It only becomes a problem for me when people take it too seriously and expect you to follow suit too. When people start dictating and imposing it on you, THAT’S when it becomes a problem for me. We’re all programmed differently. As such we all have our own different set of rules and beliefs to live by. What I think is right or proper may not be for another, and yes, while what I think may not necessarily be the right one, it’s still MY rules. It may not work well for you, but hey it works for me. We ought to respect one another for that. We shouldn’t act all knowing and be all judgmental just because someone is not like us. Reality check, you are different. I am different. WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. I’ve used the word different so many times in this paragraph alone, I think you get my point already. Hehe

Honestly I couldn’t careless anymore. I will bend the rules if I want to. My words and actions may not please everyone, and I sure as hell can’t please everyone. It's not my job to make everyone happy. If I will have to worry about what every single people will think and say about me then I would probably go crazy. What I say and do may or may not be according to the “rules”, but as long as I’m not stepping on anybody’s pretty toes, then I think there shouldn’t be any problem to it at all.

The Week That Was

The past week turned out to be a good one for me. My sister and I attended a 3 day convention at Subic. I thought it was going to be the usual boring stuff but it ended up more than what I initially expected. I don't know if it has something to do with the activities they had prepared, but the whole thing somehow reaffirmed how much I like my job. I'm happy where I am now and with what I am doing now. The best highlight though would have to be meeting Will. Babaw ba? Hehe. I've always been a big fan of his in PBB. Oo na jologs na kung jologs. Hehe. I actually can't believe I would be standing right next to him and have my picture taken with him. At long last!! Haha Of course it sucks to know I'm one of the hundreds of girls going gaga over him. Boohoo.

I also got to spend some time with my bestfriends in HK. To quote the guy I met at the convention, "UBE!". Read: the Ultimate Bonding Experience. Sounds baduy ba? :) We've been planning it for so long, it was already long overdue. This year it finally pushed through. Krizia and I stayed over at Jane's. We got a glimpse of Jane's fast paced and busy HK life. As Krizia would put it, it's so fast you can't even cross the street. You're not even halfway through the street and the pedestrian light starts to blink already. You have to keep up with the locals' pace. They walk super fast. The trip was a fun experience. Nothing beats a good vacation coupled with good company as well. I hope we can make it a yearly thing. Thailand next year, girls?

Ang Secret Ko

After reading The Secret, I’ve been trying to have a positive mantra on just about everything. I can’t say it is entirely fool proof. Yes I still have my share of down offbeat days, but I think I’ve managed to keep a generally happy disposition since 2008 started. It’s really a matter of changing one’s frame of mind. You attract good things by being positive. I know it’s no mean feat to be sunshiny and cheerful all the time. We’ll inevitably come across sucky situations and or sucky people who will shatter the optimism we’ve so painstakingly built. The trick here is not to get easily affected by it. For the lack of word, huwag mong patulan. It will take all your willpower not to. But it’ll be worth it. You’ll thank yourself for not doing so in the end.

I think part of THE secret is to stop being in control all the time. I guess we’re all control freaks in some way or another. I am guilty as charged. However I’m slowly learning to loosen my grip on things. I’m slowly unloading the excesses that I don’t need as well. Life has been pounds lighter and more peaceful. I know my life can never turn out perfectly, the way I exactly want it to be. As much as you want it so badly, if it ain’t for you then you just have to leave it at that. Let things be. I decided I don’t want to look for the answers anymore unless it presents itself to me. Hehe I won’t overanalyze the why’s and how’s anymore. As my friend would say, “Come what may.” That's what I'm absolutely going to do. I am going to embrace fate in all its glory.

A Question to Myself

I just finished watching the first episode of One Tree Hill (new season 5 already. yey! :) ). Just wanted to share the conversation between Brooke and Payton. I hope I can find the answer to Brooke's question soon.

P: Are you happy Brooke?

B: Sometimes. Not always. Are you?

P: No.

B: Okay then let me ask you something. What IS going to make you happy, Payton? Is it how you look or the car you drive or the people you know? Is it money or celebrity or power or accomplishments? Because I have all those things and I don’t think it’s enough.

P: Well then what is?

B: Love I think. And that love can be for a boy or a girl or a place or a way of life or even for a family. But where you find it is up to you. So where are you going to find that love?