Everything Good List

Haven't done this in awhile. I need a good healthy dose of positivity right now. This list will  hopefully do the trick. 

-mini bagel bites
-choco Mcdip
-McDo’s new halo halo ice mix dessert
-discovering breath prayers
-clutter free thoughts
-getting loong hours of sleep
-the Serenity Prayer
-lamb chops with lots and lots of mint jelly
-fresh lumpia with lots of seaweed and nuts
-laughing
-waking up to a good dream
-seeing a nice rainbow
-steams and massages
-Mom giving me a super early birthday present
-breakfasts
-Acca Kappa
-silence…and being comfortable with it
-having an “effortless” day
-catching up with old good friends
-coming into terms with whatever is there (yes, even if I choose to have it another way)
-no nonsense people
-Akon, Gwen Stefani, Omarion (having a bad case of LSS because of them)
-McDreamy, Michael Scofield, Clark Kent, and Peter Petrelli

Me is who I am.

No amount of convincing and justification can force people to think or say what you want them to think (or say). Admit it we’re all stubborn people. People will always think what they wanna think, believe what they wanna believe. It’s because we think we’re right even if we’re not. Or maybe we just find it hard to admit we’re wrong. Call it pride or whatever. Or maybe we all just have our own “my way” of looking at things. Unfortunately some are not that blessed with a clear widescreen view. Kulang tuloy. Hehe

Sometimes I’m tired of having to explain or justify myself. It may look like I’m always on the defense when I’m actually just trying to point out a point. Hehe I used to worry like crazy about what others think or say especially if it concerns me or if it’s someone close to me. Now kebs nalang. I just let them think whatever they want to think and say what they want to say. It’s their perception and it’s not mine to change. You can’t do anything about it. I know who I am and who I am not. I know me better than they do anyway, and that's what's important. The only thing I can do is try not to get affected and let it get to me. At the end of the day, what my family and gooood friends say or think is the only thing that counts for me, really.

Truthfully Straight and Upfront

These days it’s hard to say or do something without getting judged for it. That’s why most people choose their words and actions carefully in fears of being put into a box, be over misinterpreted, or be ostracized for not being “normal”. That’s why some people choose to stay quiet and be as neutral as possible. That’s why some people pretend that things are all perfect and rosy even when it’s not okay. That’s why some people are forced to say or do things even if they don’t want to just to fit in.

I so appreciate people who can be courageously honest and be candid about themselves. They’re not afraid to let everyone see the real them, even if it would mean losing a prospect—friend, partner, client, etc. Some people would normally put their best foot forward and let everyone see the good side only. Some people do it to impress, but I believe (naïve as I may sound) that most people do it mainly to avoid being unfairly judged.

I must admit I’m not one who could freely express and open up herself so candidly to people (well except for family and close friends), mostly because I’ve always believed in less talk, less trouble. With less talk, people can’t really say anything much about you. But then I guess even if you talk or act less (or more), either way you’ll still get judged for it. It’s a harsh world I know. Nobody’s really saved.

So what do you do about it then? Simple. Sometimes you just have to not give a damn about what people would have to say about you. As long as you’re not stepping on anyone’s toes (read: R-E-S-P-E-C-T), say what you want to say. Do what you want to do. Be the real YOU you want to be. You can’t please everybody after all. Not everybody has to like you anyway. Nagpapakatotoo ka lang; believe me people will actually appreciate and love you more for that.

Disappearing Act

From Grey’s: Disappearances happen in science. Disease can suddenly fade away. Tumors go missing. We open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It’s unexplained. It’s rare. But it happens. We call it misdiagnosis. Say we never saw it in the first place…any explanation but the truth. That life is full of vanishing acts. If something we didn’t know we had disappears, do we miss it?

This happens all the time. It’s rather frustrating to not know why. Having at least an acceptable valid explanation somehow makes it easier to cope. But unfortunately most often than not, we’re left hanging on the air. Thus we have no choice but to pretend that nothing happened. Nothing existed. Zilch. Nada. As much as you want to believe it was there, you try your damn hard best to think the other way just so you won’t start missing what you thought you had since you didn’t have it in the first place. Okay this is getting confusing already. Hehe

I’ve learned that sometimes getting too attached to a thing or a person is not good. You’ll never know when they’ll be taken away (or disappear!) from you. When you get used to something and when that something becomes a part of your life, it’s not that easy to forget and not look for it. It’s hard to keep yourself from not wanting it, from not missing it. It’s pretty much like a person wanting to have his or her regular yosi or caffeine fix. There are really no instant overnight solutions on this one. But then I guess just like with every living thing, we eventually learn to adapt and survive. We make do with what we have and start learning to live without it.

I May Be Right..Not!

Sometimes I feel most of the things that I think are true are not entirely true at all. The beliefs I’ve held for so long may be far from the truth. I thought I knew everything there is to know. I thought I had every little thing (and person) figured out. I thought I was doing the right thing. I just realized that I could be wrong. I’ve been thinking, saying, and doing the opposite.

It’s like you think you’re doing one hell of a job then someone suddenly tells you you’re not. It’s like missing an easy lay-up that a star basketball player shouldn’t have missed even with eyes closed. But then he misses, much to his and everyone’s surprise. It’s like being so sure that you’re going to get an A on a project only to find out it’s as good as a B grade only. It’s when you think you’re the only person, but then you find out you’re just one of the many persons. It’s when you think you’re special and find out you’re no extraordinary than the others. It’s being happy that you got a good bargain only to find out the next store has even bigger discounts. I could go on and on. But I know you get the point already.

If there’s one thing I learned, we can’t take everything at face value. We can’t always go on assuming things (people also included here) that are not there. Everything is not foolproof. Just because we see and say that something is right does not necessarily mean that it’s actually right. And just because we feel something does not necessarily follow that other people also do feel the same way. This kind of thinking is what actually gets us into trouble. We think we’re right all the time. We think something is true. Our expectations are set so high, disappointments are bound to happen. So I figured it would be better really to just downplay everything and think the opposite all the time, because most often than not it's the only time I actually end up being right.